Dear life, You really kinda suck. I guess I should really be blaming my heart and mind. Or maybe the chemical imbalance that causes emotions like love. Or even possibly my hormones, which are all out of whack, that causes me to want to be physical with every guy I think is attractive. I'll blame you though. it's easy than admitting something in me is causing me to be depressed and excited all at the same time. It might be normal for teenagers, actually I'm pretty sure it is. I haven't found a way to release my pent up emotions, and believe me, I have a lot. My bestfriend is kind of a bitch and won't let me communicate things with her. She thinks that no matter what happened to me, something worse happened to her. My mom is a drunk addicted whore who use to hit me, your sister moved in with someone and you didn't have to be around her when she was intoxicated. Shut the fuck up. My other best friend us a godsend. She listens and tries to help me, but she has way too much to do because she wants to be successful. I strive to be like her. My sister is in the middle I guess. She says bad things about me and gets mad for no reason, but she is also one of the amazing people I know. Then there is the boys... I start in order from how excited they make me feel. Dylan is 21 and has the cutest kid ever. We use to be really close, but now we just aren't. Everytime I think about him I get butterflies and I feel queasy. I really like him, but I'm lucky if he talks to me. Then there is Kevin. He's 22. He's also best friends with Dylan. I'm pretty sure this makes me a terrible person. I've had sex with him a few times, and I kinda grew to like him... He's not really my type at first... As in, he's a... Larger man, but he has a beard! And I kinda have a thing for beards. Lastly, there is Kyle. 18, jobless, not in college. A total WINNER. I hung out with him the other day and he got me to hang out with drug dealers that tried to rape me. Wonder why I like him so much? I'm not a dumb girl. After all that happened, I started crying. A lot. He just held me and comforted me until I felt better. He's also my ex. So, Mr./Mrs. Life, it's all your fault for giving me these people. I still blame you. Sincerely, Jamie.